I don’t know about you, ladies, but as a woman, I spend a substantial amount of time talking about my feelings — dissecting and observing each emotion under a microscope then analyzing it and sharing my findings with other women in the hopes of coming to some sort of conclusion. It’s almost a habit, like reaching for a pack of cigarettes. The go-to topic of conversation. What is this emotion? Where does it come from? Why am I feeling this way? How do I stop it? Who can I talk to about it? Drama, drama, drama. I’m telling you, it’s a full time job dealing with this emotional business and it is exhausting!
This past summer, I did some pretty heavy duty landscaping work with a bunch of lads. I was the only woman on a team of a dozen men. I worked with Polish men, Italian men, Australian men, British men, and though their accents differed, they spoke the same language — MAN talk. And I have to tell you that it was refreshing. So very refreshing to simply shoot the shit and have a laugh. Men don’t talk about their fears or insecurities. They don’t ask me to pick apart a conversation they had with their Missus in a bizarre attempt to understand what it all means. They don’t go around saying they feel fat and expect me to tell them “No, no, you look GREAT!” They’d be banned from the man clan if they were caught obsessing over such things.
They’d much prefer to talk about cars and sports and music and video games and how they got wasted last Friday night on cheap beer and yager bombs. Sure, they sometimes come across as Neanderthals but you know what? I admire them. There’s a certain grace in not talking about every single emotion that arises on any given day. Instead of talking about stuff, men DO stuff. They channel that emotional energy into something productive. They fix the leak under the sink or read the paper or go to the gym. They blow off some steam. They have this amazing ability to let go. Imagine how much energy I could save and how many things I could knock off my to-do list if I stopped thinking so much and just acted. On something. Anything!
I’m not suggesting that we bury our feelings deep inside ourselves, but perhaps we can learn a thing or two from the opposite sex. I think the lads have much to teach us in the art of letting go, chilling out, having fun and leaving the emotions at home once in a while. And just as much as I need the women in my life to talk about matters of the heart, I also appreciate that my guy friends change the subject and veer the conversation towards something far less heavy — like the rugby game.
So, here’s a shout out to the dudes. I don’t always understand you, but my world is far more balanced with you in it.
“Don’t think too much. You’ll only create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.”
