Dear baby girl
I love that we found this mural after the famous book titled “where the wild things are” to take one of my pregnancy pics. One day in the near future, you’ll be able to flip through the pages of this book yourself and we’ll also watch the film together. It’s one of mamas all time favorite stories.
On top of that, I can’t think of a better term than “wild” to describe pregnancy for me. Since the very beginning I’ve felt this incredible primal instinct, reconnecting me to the most basic and essential parts of my being. I was suddenly hyper aware of my body and how it interacts with the world, I became super protective of us and I felt the need to deeply nourish and nurture us. I was also drawn to re-read the book “women who run with the wolves”, which explores the wild women we all are. This book talks about how as women, we are all born with strong instincts, passion, creativity and “ageless knowing”, and how as we grow older, society attempts to “civilize” us and confine us to rigid roles, burying our treasures and turning us into domesticated, fearful and trapped souls. I want you to know that I am forever committed to respecting your wild nature. I want you to grow and flourish in all your power and natural beauty. I will always encourage you to be your wildest self and follow your heart.
I’ve also felt ‘wildly’ creative during this time. I can hardly believe how many projects I’ve taken on and with how much ease I’ve tackled every single thing. You’ve taught me to slow down as needed and appreciate life for what it is, where it is. You’ve brought up in me a new way of doing things that is more graceful, less filled with anxiety and ego. You’ve also stirred up some rage in me towards incompatibility and lack of authenticity. Because of that fire you lit in me, I quit my “safe” part time job once again and turned back to the job I really feel like I am meant to do in this world. I did that because I felt so compelled to honor my values and what I believe in, so one day, you too will know how important and worthy our dreams are!
Finally, I am preparing for a natural birth. Your position is just perfect right now. Your head it totally in the right place and ready to come out (although please please wait a few more weeks to make sure your lungs and everything else is in tip top shape). Funny thing is that the “theme” keeps re-appearing, because I’ve told your dad this entire time that I wanted a “wild” birth. I want it to be loud and emotional. I want to feel your little body sliding through and coming out of me, so I can watch the miracle of life unfold before me, with my eyes wide open. Let’s work together on that and make the best of it. I know it is unpredictable, but I am just putting it out there that I’d love for us to experience this magic as fully as possible. I have played the whole scene in my head already, now we just have to manifest it.
And if you’ve read it this far, baby girl, then you know how much you are loved and cherished and expected. I cannot wait to have you in my arms. Sometimes in my yoga class I feel such a huge bond with you, I see and feel you inside my belly and it all feels so good, so right, I never want it to end. I hope we can still keep that bond when you are out here and transitioned from your first home (my belly) to your second (my arms).
Also, I know I did not mention your dad very much in this letter… But by now you know how much of a rock star he is. He’s taken every baby class with me and he’s completely charmed by the belly and the kicks. He talks to you, he reads bedtime stories to you and he supports me in every way. He is indeed the best thing that ever happened to the two of us. Get ready to fall madly in love…
With love,
xo