Last night I watched the DVD “The Hustle for Worthiness”, a lecture by Dr. Brene Brown, in which she explores the meaning of love and belonging, and how our feelings of “never good enough” prevent us from experiencing real connection. I was totally blown away by it. Brene is a friend of mine, so of course it was really thrilling for me to see her in her most professional self, giving this excellent presentation to a full audience. But not only that, the content is so interesting and her delivery so enjoyable, that I wish I had at least a couple more hours of it. I could just listen to her all day actually. I kept fantasizing that if I ever went back to school, I’d love to have her as a professor! She is so incredibly knowledgeable and she can talk about uncomfortable themes like shame and guilt with humor and depth at the same time. Thank you, Brene, for doing such inspiring and life changing work!
Brene’s talk has really got me thinking about my life and my own hustle for worthiness. I know I mentioned here before that I’ve been conflicted about my blog and the transition from blogging for pure self expression towards blogging for business purposes. I think that has absolutely everything to do with fearing that I will not be worthy of my readership anymore. In addition, as I embarked on the journey of motherhood, I’ve also began to worry about not being good enough to handle it all: my blog (and where I want to take it), my photography, my creative self, my day job, friendships, motherhood, sexiness, etc. I noticed that I’ve been scared of doing things badly, as if I depended on that success to be worthy of love. Don’t we all feel that kind of pressure? I know that I am not alone on that. But somehow, some of us do a brilliant job at getting pass that, while the rest of us struggle, give up on our dreams and end up living a life full of resentment. What to do then? What I gathered from Brene’s lecture is that the answer might be to just let go of perfectionism and keep holding onto all the aspects of our “dream life” wholeheartedly. That is what I want. I want it all. I want to live wholeheartedly. I want the self expression and I also want to make a living doing what I love. I want to be a creative entrepreneur, but I also want to be a mother, a loving mother… (mind you, a loving and sexy momma) and an awesome wife too. And mostly, I want to be/ feel loved. According to Brene, perfectionism and all these thoughts that make us hesitate and veer off the path are directly linked to our feelings of guilt and shame. As Brene says, admitting that we have such feelings can be awful. However, the bright side is that “these are just the things that get in the way”, and as long as we are aware of how they affect us, we’ll be able to work through all the challenges and emotions that arise, staying on course to live an authentic life. This is certainly a practice! But since acknowledging my “ugly feelings”, I seriously feel that I am standing in a place of a lot more acceptance and light. This is my one life to live and my dreams are worth my time, my energy and my tears even. I certainly don’t think it is a good idea to give up on life because of being afraid of doing a bad job at it. Truth is, no matter what we do (and how well we do it), as long as we “mother”, write and shoot from the heart, it will all be honest and pure, which means that we don’t have to feel guilty or shameful for any of it. And love will come… (We must stop worrying that it won’t.) And when it does, it will be directed towards our most truthful exquisite self. I don’t know about you, but personally, more than anything I’d like for my life and journey to be the most authentic representation of myself, and for it to be of inspiration to others, so none of us will ever have to settle for less than what we wish for and deserve. If we wish for it, then we are worth it. I am worth it and I believe that you are too.
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Brene was very generous to offer a giveaway to the Gypsy Girl’s Guide community. If you’d like to enter a drawing for Brene’s DVD “the Hustle for Worthiness”, just leave a comment saying “i’m worth it.” And don’t forget to say it out loud too :)
Good luck! I’ll close comments on Saturday 11pm PST and announce the winner on Sunday morning.
I’ll go first: I’m worth it!!