*** Thanks for participating on the giveaway, everyone! We are worth it!! The winner is Renee – comment #53 (see result from random # generator below). Please contact me to receive your DVD!! Congratulations, Renee!
Dear Baby,
The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of excitement! We had our second ultrasound and we found out that you are a girl! I cannot wait to show you the world from a female perspective. I confess that I was a little worried about a certain train-tracks rug your dad was eyeing for your room if you were a boy… And I was thinking that it might have been a challenge for me to get used to robots and dragons! I know it is such a cliche, but I’ve always been a very girly girl despite my free spirit. In any case, I’m sure your dad and I are still going to make sure you are a tomboy. We are going to do lots of art, go traveling, camping and hiking, and your dad is going to teach you all kinds of cool stuff like music, snowboarding, skateboarding, surfing and sailing. I just love the idea that we’ll be a cute little family and have lots of fun together.
Our new little ritual is that I sing to you in the car. I think you enjoy that. I always feel such bliss when I do it. Besides, now I can also feel you move! And indeed I’m feeling you on my left side right now as I type. Your dad can feel it too and he covers you with kisses all the time. Can you feel us the way we feel you? I sure hope so! This is such a marvelous experience and it is one that is very hard to explain. I feel really fortunate to be pregnant with you.
Onto another week and we should be hitting our halfway point in this journey at 20 weeks! It is surreal to think that so soon you’ll be with us. I’m on a true countdown to meet you, my little girl. I’m going to have to hold myself back to not spoil you too much.
Love you.
ps: I bought your first gift this week. It’s a cute little bodysuit from Tea. So sweet I couldn’t resist!
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Archive for March, 2010
You are a girl!
The Hustle for Worthiness & a Giveaway
Last night I watched the DVD “The Hustle for Worthiness”, a lecture by Dr. Brene Brown, in which she explores the meaning of love and belonging, and how our feelings of “never good enough” prevent us from experiencing real connection. I was totally blown away by it. Brene is a friend of mine, so of course it was really thrilling for me to see her in her most professional self, giving this excellent presentation to a full audience. But not only that, the content is so interesting and her delivery so enjoyable, that I wish I had at least a couple more hours of it. I could just listen to her all day actually. I kept fantasizing that if I ever went back to school, I’d love to have her as a professor! She is so incredibly knowledgeable and she can talk about uncomfortable themes like shame and guilt with humor and depth at the same time. Thank you, Brene, for doing such inspiring and life changing work!
Brene’s talk has really got me thinking about my life and my own hustle for worthiness. I know I mentioned here before that I’ve been conflicted about my blog and the transition from blogging for pure self expression towards blogging for business purposes. I think that has absolutely everything to do with fearing that I will not be worthy of my readership anymore. In addition, as I embarked on the journey of motherhood, I’ve also began to worry about not being good enough to handle it all: my blog (and where I want to take it), my photography, my creative self, my day job, friendships, motherhood, sexiness, etc. I noticed that I’ve been scared of doing things badly, as if I depended on that success to be worthy of love. Don’t we all feel that kind of pressure? I know that I am not alone on that. But somehow, some of us do a brilliant job at getting pass that, while the rest of us struggle, give up on our dreams and end up living a life full of resentment. What to do then? What I gathered from Brene’s lecture is that the answer might be to just let go of perfectionism and keep holding onto all the aspects of our “dream life” wholeheartedly. That is what I want. I want it all. I want to live wholeheartedly. I want the self expression and I also want to make a living doing what I love. I want to be a creative entrepreneur, but I also want to be a mother, a loving mother… (mind you, a loving and sexy momma) and an awesome wife too. And mostly, I want to be/ feel loved. According to Brene, perfectionism and all these thoughts that make us hesitate and veer off the path are directly linked to our feelings of guilt and shame. As Brene says, admitting that we have such feelings can be awful. However, the bright side is that “these are just the things that get in the way”, and as long as we are aware of how they affect us, we’ll be able to work through all the challenges and emotions that arise, staying on course to live an authentic life. This is certainly a practice! But since acknowledging my “ugly feelings”, I seriously feel that I am standing in a place of a lot more acceptance and light. This is my one life to live and my dreams are worth my time, my energy and my tears even. I certainly don’t think it is a good idea to give up on life because of being afraid of doing a bad job at it. Truth is, no matter what we do (and how well we do it), as long as we “mother”, write and shoot from the heart, it will all be honest and pure, which means that we don’t have to feel guilty or shameful for any of it. And love will come… (We must stop worrying that it won’t.) And when it does, it will be directed towards our most truthful exquisite self. I don’t know about you, but personally, more than anything I’d like for my life and journey to be the most authentic representation of myself, and for it to be of inspiration to others, so none of us will ever have to settle for less than what we wish for and deserve. If we wish for it, then we are worth it. I am worth it and I believe that you are too.
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Brene was very generous to offer a giveaway to the Gypsy Girl’s Guide community. If you’d like to enter a drawing for Brene’s DVD “the Hustle for Worthiness”, just leave a comment saying “i’m worth it.” And don’t forget to say it out loud too :)
Good luck! I’ll close comments on Saturday 11pm PST and announce the winner on Sunday morning.
I’ll go first: I’m worth it!!
Polaroid Generosity
There is one thing though, that I do not like about polaroids. I get stingy with the film! Each exposure is so precious that I find myself really saving up the shots.
That one day, for example, when I was strolling through the street market, trying to get a shot of a table displaying all sorts of colorful sweets, this little boy (above) ran up to me and asked me if I could take his picture with his duck. I feel so bad to confess this, but as I was focusing on the table full of treats, I shook my head and said “No”. Then he made a puppy face and turned around kind of stomping back to his parents table. I looked at my pack with only 1 shot left and I thought… Screw it, I take it back! So I ran after the little boy and told him to go ahead and bring his duck so we could get down to business. Needless to say, he was ecstatic! That alone was/ is ALWAYS worth it. A minute later he comes with a LIVE duck! I had no idea it was going to be alive. First thing I thought of was a rubber duckie :) Then I asked him to smile and he said something like: “Can I growl?”, which I did not understand, but got the idea, as soon as he started making faces and noises. I snapped, the picture came out, and his eyes immediately opened wide as in: “What happened?” He looked at the undeveloped image and asked with a frown: “Is it bad? Did it not turn out?” I assured him it would come out, but he didn’t believe me, so we sat on the curb and watched the picture appear bit by bit with lots of anticipation. His reaction and joy were priceless. I just wish I had one more shot so he could keep one for himself. But alas, I wasn’t THAT nice to give mine away! Shame on me. But now I get to share it with you along with its little story. And perhaps this little story can inspired you also, to let go of your polaroid tightness and take a chance on those shots that come to you, versus those shots you keep seeking and saving for.
Do you practice polaroid generosity?
