Spread Eagle, Burning Man 2008. (photo by hubby Richard Cave)
Thank you friends, for all the positive mojo! It really really meant the world to us.
I wish I could tell you that my green card was approved in the interview. But not so easy. Not for this gypsy. Not yet. On the other hand, our interview went really well and I know that it will all work out eventually. The hold up is related to a previous application I had in progress, via my employment sponsorship. Although everything is squared away with that application as well, Immigration still needs to put both applications together in order to make a decision on my case.
Oh well. As Rich said, it was all very anti climatic. Something we did not expect. We were both very anxious to get an approval on the spot and be done with this chapter… But alas, it wasn’t in the cards for us. I’m kind of used to the fact that with me, it is always the long way around. I am good at it. I have the patience and the determination. It’s also true that I burst into tears now and then, in disappointment. But in the end, it all works out for the best. So we’ll see what happens. We are supposed to hear back within the next 60 days. I know… 60 more days? However, the big picture is that I have been here for 13 years, always legally… And always in some sort of process… Which means I’ve waited many rounds of 60 days and that wait has never stopped me from living my dreams. I went from graduate school to a job in the film industry. I went from East to West, around the globe and back. I am still here. I own my wings no matter what. My freedom is within. If anyone had whined to me 15 years ago that it was going to be this hard to create a life abroad, I would have whined back and stayed home. I would have passed on the chance to live this crazy beautiful life that is mine now.
I’m telling you, friends. I have been unleashed!
Two serendipitous lessons knocked on my door on the day of the interview, with the same message: Freedom is within.
First, I opened Anthea Paul’s oracle book on the following quote:
“On the other side of FEAR is FREEDOM. Only when you feel that you are truly free you can be creative, happy and fulfilled in life. The process of understanding your own heart is the process of moving through fear into the freedom of unconditional love and happiness”.
And second, “from the universe”, I got the following note:
“There are really only two conditions of the human mind: Very, very happy. Or about to become very, very happy. Which one are you today, Gypsy?”
I thought. Holy shit! YES! I’m about to become very very happy. Of course, I’m going to get my visa.
Boooooo. Wrong Answer.
Now I know. Now that I didn’t get what I thought I would… Now I get it.
I get that we should always ALWAYS let go of expectations.
I get that, regardless, I am still very very happy anyway. Just as is.
I get that not having this “thing” has never stopped me in any way.
I get that I have wings and they’ve taken me places. And they always will.
And I get that my freedom really is in the way I lead my life.
With my heart open ~
How about you? Is it time for you to own your wings and spread them open?
For more wing talk go…
& to check out Tango Baby spreading her wings, go here and buy her new book!
September 20, 2008