Sunflower Garden, Singapore Intl. Airport, 2008.
Throw yourself like a seed as you walk, and into your own field,
don’t turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,
and do not let the past weigh down your motion.
Leave what is alive in the furrow, what is dead in yourself,
for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds;
from your work you will be able one day
to gather yourself,
by Miguel de Unamuno
You see, this whole thing started
when someone told a certain gypsy girl
that she was a “strange seed”.
She thought that was rude at first,
but then she immediately went back
to her usual state of daydreaming,
which of course, lead her to thinking that
the concept was actually kind of interesting.
She then looked deep inside and started wandering
what kind of a seed she might be after all.
Could I be the essence of an exotic plant?
Could I become a juicy fruit? or
Will I turn into just plain ordinary weed?”
She couldn’t figure it out.
But this was all very intriguing to the gypsy girl.
So she went further in her thoughts
trying to figure out what do with herself as a seed.
She learned that a seed is so tiny, but also so whole.
A seed is body, mind, and soul.
And besides, a seed is brave.
It surrenders itself to something much bigger
something completely unknown.
Hmmm…
She realized that she had digged
a hole way too deep!
And instead of jumping in to see,
she decided to go back to sleep.
The next day she started a thorough research
on what the perfect soil and climate would be.
She learned a lot about the world
But she never looked at her own field.
She went places and tried to plant herself there…
But the bad news is:
She just never bloomed.
Then one day, when her hope
had almost completely washed away,
she went outside and saw that
the weather was just right to play.
So instead of worrying, thinking,
And trying to figure out what she was made of,
the gypsy girl opened her heart to the sun
And let herself go…
She blew with the wind.
And the wind took her gypsy seed
So very faraway from everywhere else
she had ever been to…
And there she landed ~
Softly.
(to be continued…)
Archive for June, 2008
Throw yourself like a seed ~
Taking Flight!
Blessed, Playa Escondida, 2008.
Come to the edge, he said.
They said: We are afraid.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them
And they flew.
Guillaume Apollinaire
***
When I started this year, I named it the “year of flight”. It turns out that it has been so far ~
I got married and
I had two incredible ceremonies ~
I got a new job offer
I am working on my creative dreams
I am connecting with kindreds
I am building a nurturing and supporting community
I am taking more ‘risks’
I feel lighter in general…
Which does make me feel like
I can actually fly!
Imagine that?
Even the “unthought-of” happened last week.
I’ve attempted jogging!
Truth be told ~
I’d always been a little jealous of runners.
Oh. Shucks! (Am I getting in trouble here?)
For a lack of a better word…
They’ve always seemed so damn “cool”
Too cool…
With their fancy shoes and music gadgets.
For some reason I idealized the whole thing
And I just never thought I could be one of them.
But for some reason…
I decided it was about time I tried it.
And so I’m proud.
I’m jogging!
Little sprints alternated by walks
That is where I am at right now.
Little sprints of joy!
But I am indeed jogging
And that makes me happy.
It makes me feel like that kid
Who will no longer need to hide from PE class :P
Anyhow.
I wanted to tell you this,
because it is from this perspective
that I want to share some other thrilling news with you:
I opened my very own Etsy store!!!
GYPSY GIRLS GUIDE PHOTOGRAPHY ~
I’ve also added little snippets about the stories behind the images
Check it out and let me know what you think :)
I’m slowly uploading the images. So stay tuned.
I was going to announce it only when it was all done.
Silly. There is never such a thing is there?
Since I picked up the prints
I’ve been running around in circles
I’ve been in such euphoria…
I could not even post about anything else
(hence why it’s taken me long to post here)
I can hardly describe it.
It’s a great feeling ~
I guess this process made me come alive!
I remembered:
Little sprints, Alex.
Little sprints will do.
So…
I am a little shy
As I stand before this cliff
Just before I hit “publish”
And just before I take flight.
On the other hand…
I know you will cheer me and hold me ~
I know it does not matter how far I go ~
I know it’s all about feeling the wind on my face ~
Here I am
Arms, Wings, Heart
Wide Open.
1-2-3
I’m flying!
Be Wild and Rise!
Gruta Azul, Chapada Diamantina, 2007.
Am I the last one to watch “Into the Wild”? And how on Earth did I miss the book in the first place? If you’ve been missing out like me, go watch it asap. I saw it on Sunday and I am still carrying it around with me. It’s a poignant film. It’s one of those that slowly builds up till it finally sticks and stays with you for a while.
It’s the story of a troubled boy disillusioned with family and society, who changes his name to Alex Supertramp and sets off on a two-year journey. He goes from South Dakota to Southern California, to the Sea of Cortez in Mexico, and at last, to the Alaskan wilderness, where he dies of starvation and accidental poisoning. Although the premise may sound depressing, the film fills you with such hope and an incredible sense of possibility. It’s full of crisp air and sunshine. It’s brave and it’s almost spiritual. There are plenty of moments where you just want to grab a backpack and start hiking away to feel as immersed in the world as the main character.
Personally, I see myself in “that” Alex in many ways. I can relate to his soul searching, his wish to breathe in the purest essence of life, his guts to leave everything behind ~ including his family ~ to follow his dreams… And mostly, I can deeply relate to his final realization, which is: “Happiness is only real when shared.” (Hopefully I’m not ruining it for you here)
Thank God that in my case, I didn’t have to face death alone to find this out. I had this epiphany while traveling through India in 2003. As I watched the dry landscape of Rajasthan from the scratched Indian Railway windows, I looked down on my white linen shirt colored by the desert’s orange dust, I took another bite of my ‘pakora’, and I knew right then, that something was about to change for me. Suddenly I realized I could no longer bare neither that summer heat nor that silence. I needed to start sharing moments like those in order to validate them. My free spirit was no longer enough for me.
Of course, to this day, I still believe that there is nothing like traveling alone to make you feel like an individual. I think that from time to time I will crave that feeling of invisibility and empowerment, that you only get when you are on your own on the road. And I am sure I will always need my solitude to regain balance and to create. On the other hand, there comes a time when you need someone else to participate in the joy with you to make it real. Which is why I love traveling with RC, and why I started taking photographs and blogging: to tell my story and to get someone else’s point of view to meet mine.
But anyhow… About Into the Wild…
Sublime ~
Also check out the lovely score & sound track (lots of Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder songs). I’m posting here one of my favorite tracks: Rise. Beautiful lyrics & melody!!
And don’t you love that word?
That is my “challenge word” for you today:
RISE (to whatever calls you to do so!)
Enjoy!
*****
Rise, Eddie Vedder
Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow
Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold
Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold
Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole
