Shining Girl, Ubud, May 2008.
Energy creates energy.” Albert Einstein
This long weekend was all about a shift in energy for me. After a few weeks of soaking up in the lovely memories of our wedding and honeymoon, I began to notice that the house and my attitude were all a bit of a mess, actually. Lots of bills needed to be reconciled, phone calls and emails had to be returned, the laundry basket was overflowing, thank you notes were waiting to be written and mailed, I was irritable and my studio had clearly become a storage for several uncategorized items brought back from our trips.
Have you ever noticed how that happens? It appears to me that every time I let a list grow insanely like this, I begin to think everything is a major annoyance. So, evidently, my first instinct is to hide from it all. You wouldn’t believe how good I am at formulating the best excuses for why I should not do what I am supposed to do. Sadly though, busy work aside, I’ve learned the hard way that it is my creative life that really suffers when I go into an “idle state”. Eeek! How I fear that “state” and the word even! The muses! The muses! They won’t come if I am idle! And I will tell you why. It is because the next step after idleness is called guilt. Oh! But clearly, if I am guilty for being such a “bad” procrastinator, how could I dare waste time writing, making a mess on the floor with paint or going for a walk to take pictures? That guilt will punish me until I feel utterly depressed for being the least creative person on the planet. And of course, in the midst of such drama, who can remember to tide it up and get to work?
So, this weekend, not wanting to fall into that old idleness trap, I finally snapped: “Okay, Alex. Move!” When I am stuck, I find that moving helps me lift that heavy energy. Once the energy moves, it can be released. Movement is cleansing. Sure it is hard to snap and get right to the dreadful job ahead. But when you move first, you awake the body and feel connected to it. You could do anything to achieve that momentum: dance, run, hike, sing, swim, pull weeds… Whatever gets the energy flowing. Then, the next step for me is to buckle up and follow Anne Lamott’s advice: Take it bird by bird. In her book(which I know some of you are familiar with), Anne tells a story about one instance when her brother was overwhelmed trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had 3 months to write, which was due the next day. In the midst of her brother’s idleness caused by the huge task at hand, her father put his arms around the boy’s shoulder and said, “Bird by Bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird”. These advice is truly one of the teachings I follow the most these days, in order to get anything accomplished in my life. If I can just settle for that first bird, I always get to the next and the next. It is a simple and powerful step to take and it really works wonders.
Finally, as you expected, (with no small animals harmed in the process) I made it through. The house is now lovely “in its new acceptable level of tidiness”, and I am back on track… with my wants, dreams and projects. Phew. I am relieved. I even put Maddie’s package in the mail, which I’ve had sitting here on my desk for almost 6 months (Sorry, Maddie!)!!!
And since it was a holiday filled with such movement & joyful energy, it is no wonder that I also had the pleasure to meet a new blogger friend, Tango baby, via the amazing Tara. Julie is a renaissance girl, movie “conessuire” and an avid dancer who practices tango and flamenco regularly! Can you guess how much spice she has? You guessed right! Tons!!! And to add to it, this woman has the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen, and they spark every time she talks ~ in her soothing voice ~ about her exciting views and projects. How amazing is it that she lives in my neighborhood? I’m so lucky :)
*****
What do you do to get out of your… dare I say… “Idleness”, “funk”?
And is there an area in your life where you need to add movement?
Let’s get shaking!! :P
Archive for May, 2008
New Energy
Suka-duka
Frangipani, Bali, May 2008.
For the Balinese, ceremonies are a way of life.
During my time in Bali, I was amazed at how much time everyone spends on the preparation of ceremonies and offerings. Regardless of the circumstances in one’s life, offerings are still created and placed daily in the family shrines and on the streets. It’s very common to see graceful ladies carrying trays on their heads with sticks of burning incense, which they will gently waft toward a shrine. No wonder the lovely sandalwood scent constantly fills the air with a sense of peace and enchantment… The smoky perfume is almost intoxicating in a marvelous kind of way, really.
It is particularly inspiring to me also, that several life-cycles are celebrated with colorful rites of passage. Ceremonies are held for a human embryo in the mother’s womb, at birth, birthdays, tooth filings, weddings, funerals and also cremations.
In addition, there several temple festivals throughout the year. The magnificent temple offerings are put up on high platforms and are meant for the gods. These are made of colored rice, cakes, fruits, eggs, flowers and other natural things. Rich and I were lucky enough to be at one of the main temples for a full moon celebration and we can assure you that some of these offerings are just out of this world. Let’s just say… Several 6 foot deities made of fruits and flowers! Incredible!
What I find deeply moving though, is that no matter what life brings, these rituals seem to be untouchable and no efforts are measured! The Balinese are focused on their beliefs, and they keep dedicating whatever time is needed to prepare and participate in all the offerings and gatherings that are meaningful to their family and community. In that communion spirit, there is an Indonesian expression, “Suka-duka”, that translates as “together we share in our happiness, together we share in our sadness”.
Personally, having steered away from religious rites almost completely in my life, I still can’t help but be enamored by this concept of fellowship, devotion and by the strong emotional bonding created by the constant sharing and celebrating together. What keeps pulsing in my mind, is the fact that the Indonesian culture can really teach us something about how important it is to commit, to make time and to pay tribute to what we love and believe in. I know… Easier said than done… This concept immediately seems draining to our society “Who has the time afterall?”. But perhaps if we focused on the beauty of it all, like the Balinese… Maybe… Just maybe… We might be able to keep honoring what really matters in our lives.
I know that I want to at least give it a shot! For example, this blog and the friendships I’ve made through it are some of these valuable gifts I must celebrate in my life. So I must find the time to write and I must give my best to make it a delight for you! :) And today, I especially must honor finally meeting a long time blog buddy and inspiration: Tara Bradford. Tara, who writes the tasteful and multifaceted blog Paris Parfait was visiting San Francisco this week, and I was lucky enough to be invited to go on a fabulous dinner date with her! This gorgeous woman is not only a fierce gypsy, but also a kind and soft spoken beauty! To me she is no doubt a Succulent Wild Woman… And she’s got fabulous red hair too, of course! But seriously, her stories can take you on a journey through exotic faraway lands with princes and dragons, and her strength especially comes through when you hear about her extraordinary life experiences as a mother and a political reporter in the Middle East! I couldn’t get enough of her… And as I commented in her post, “I felt like we were ageless souls transcending time and space, relishing in our thirst for life and adventure.” (Well, Rich said I got way too “new agey” on this one… But what can I say? It’s true!! :P) Together we shared in our happiness and together we shared in our sadness. Suka-duka, Tara! I cherish our time together and wish for many more to come… Here is an offering to honor our friendship in “bloggie culture style”… For you, my dear, a sweet frangipani and a heartfelt post.
*****
How about you? What do you need to honor in your life with more time and offerings of beauty?
Diligent Joy
Gratitude Offering, Ubud, Bali, May 2008.
“People universally think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend upon you as good weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, you strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you are in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.”
from Eat Pray Love
It’s only natural that I’d decided to bring along Elizabeth Gilbert to share our honeymoon in Bali with us. Rich wasn’t opposed to it at all, since she is so gorgeous anyway! :) And myself, I just knew I had to read the Indonesia section of her book one more time while on location! Don’t you think she is amazing too? Lovely Miss Gilbert certainly knows how to pay attention to what matters most, and she guided me on where to look a little closer by sprinkling great insights ~ like the one above ~ throughout each one of my days in Bali.
In fact, this quote and the whole chapter (87!), stayed with me throughout the entire trip and glowed at every sign of happiness. These signs were intense and came to me like a chilled energy rush rising up my spine: “Pay attention. Record this. Be thankful. Hold on to this moment tightly.” The signs came frequently actually. They came as we both marveled at the hypnotic sounds of a gamelan presentation… As we hiked up the misty temple tops of Pura Besakih… As we walked through the rice fields… As we photographed gigantic lotuses in the many alluring ponds of Ubud… As several birds landed on our heads at the Bali Bird Park … As we woke in each other’s arms every morning without the slightest rush… Ahhh…. And even as the screaming roosters announced another fabulous day. No matter what… The chills just kept on coming… Every time Rich collected a frangipani to place behind my ear… Every time I noticed how much I would miss the constant sandalwood fragrance in the air… Every time we went on night walks through the tiny gangs (small lanes) in Kuta… And especially, when I realized, while reading Eat Pray Love once again, that this time I was actually living (and writing) the LOVE chapter of my OWN life!
So, in this one particular lazy afternoon at the small village of Padangbai, I felt the urge to follow our “heroine’s” advice and make my own vows to God. I had not formally prayed in years really. But that day, I decided to put it out there to God and not just to the Universe, as I usually do.
It was the most perfect picture of my life right there. It was a warm golden sunset on the beach with colorful ‘jukungs’ (marlin fishing boats) all around the shore. We were two gypsy hearts who were deeply in love and who’d met at Burning Man almost 5 years ago. To add to that, we had just had an unforgettable wedding in Mexico with our amazing friends and family, and now, only a few days later, we were relaxing in a sleepy little bay in Bali. Rich was having a beer at this funky cafe right across the street, enjoying a nice chat with a couple of locals. A beautiful lady wearing an orange sarong and green lacy shirt floated along the sidewalk, carrying a large tray of flower offerings on her head. I was on the beach, knees on the sand, camera around my neck, sporting a big smile, while a dozen of kids had the time of their lives skipping around me, making poses and teaching me Balinese words. On the horizon, the ferry approached slowly, and its horn loudly proclaimed that the sun was about to go down any minute. Soon, tiny lights would be flickering across the half moon shaped bay, creating the most romantic setting for the few lucky of us in that quaint and laid back town. In that moment, I also realized I could scratch one more item on a ‘Mondo Beyondo’ list I’d written 8 years ago, saying: “I wish to travel back to Southeast Asia with the man of my dreams! Boom! Done!”
Then I fell right into an affirming prayer: “Thank you, God, for the most ‘picture perfect’ life! This is everything ~ and more ~ than I could ever wish for! May I always believe in magic and in a life full of possibilities. Please help me hold to this image of my life and myself, and to remember it, when I am down. This is the kind of fulfillment and contentment that speaks to my heart. This is the most love I’ve felt and this is the most loved I’ve felt. I want to hold on to this love, ease, simplicity and peace forever. Thank you. Thank you.”
And just like that, the sun sank into the ocean reminding me of the inevitable cycles of life. So I made one more pledge: To come back to this blog first and foremost with a “photo offering” in gratitude and remembrance of this time in my life. I want to seal this moment with flowers, colors and incense scent. I want to look back here, when future trials come, and remember that it is our own duty to call upon this life force we all have, to make things happen, and to bring forth our happiness and “diligent joy”, as well as sustain it!
***
What memories of your own happiness you need to bring forth to sustain the magic in your life?
