Hard & Soft Edges, Melbourne, Australia, 2006.
I said:
I prefer to agree because I am afraid to disappoint, you know?
She said:
It is okay to have some hard edges.
***
Update: I got a few interesting emails and questions about this post... So here is a bit more on that: Sometimes, some of us, just keep on saying "yes", agreeing and giving too much while others are more comfortable receiving and setting their boundaries. This post is a milestone, a place for me to note that it is okay for us to honor our limits, edges. We have to believe that life will be more interesting (as some of you said), if we are really true to our choices.
Comments (12)
i like that!
Posted by la vie en rose | January 18, 2008 11:11 AM
Posted on January 18, 2008 11:11
me too!
xox
Posted by Silvia | January 19, 2008 9:37 AM
Posted on January 19, 2008 09:37
Who doesn't have some hard edges? :) xo
Posted by Paris Parfait | January 19, 2008 11:04 AM
Posted on January 19, 2008 11:04
difference of opinion (hard edges) is what makes for a lovely evening of thoughtful and passionate conversation...it is a good thing
Posted by Jessica | January 19, 2008 3:02 PM
Posted on January 19, 2008 15:02
Amen, sista!
Posted by Lisa | January 21, 2008 10:57 AM
Posted on January 21, 2008 10:57
Love this post... :)
Being true to our choices is sometimes so hard!
Posted by penelope | January 22, 2008 2:38 PM
Posted on January 22, 2008 14:38
Setting limits and knowing who we are and what we need, this is like coming home to our own deepest knowing.
hard edges are the other side of soft curves. We need both. it is part of being human.
Posted by bella | January 22, 2008 2:49 PM
Posted on January 22, 2008 14:49
Yes!!!
so true:)
Posted by maddie | January 22, 2008 4:15 PM
Posted on January 22, 2008 16:15
It seems that women more often than men are willing to say "yes" when they mean "no". We each have our own reasons - to be liked by everyone, as you mentioned, or for me it is "don't rock the boat". Sometime in December I hit my limit with this kind of behavior in myself. I saw how I let people walk on me and kept my voice silent. I said, "no more". And thusfar, I have been successful at setting my boundaries and speaking my mind. I LOVE THE FEELING IT BRINGS! Edges are wonderful.
Posted by Jeni | January 25, 2008 12:22 PM
Posted on January 25, 2008 12:22
i like the image this creates...makes it seem more tangible and ok to have edges/boundaries. i sometimes learn the hard way that it's necessary to say "no" some of the time -- thanks for the inspiration!
Posted by nicole | February 5, 2008 8:31 AM
Posted on February 5, 2008 08:31
I shared this story with three amazing women very recently - how a few years ago someone I thought was a good friend kept canceling plans with me at the last minute when something better would come along. I stuck to the mantra, "I know I shouldn't take it personally." After hearing this more than a few times, my husband finally said, "I think maybe it's about time you take this personally," and he was right. Boundaries are OK; limits are sometimes necessary...it all comes back to truth, with yourself and others.
Posted by Swirly | February 5, 2008 10:08 PM
Posted on February 5, 2008 22:08
Oh, I love that "it's okay to have some hard edges."
I'm often called "sweetie, or you're so nice" and I am-usually. This is not as a "please others" personna. NO WAY!
I also have aspects to me where I will not swallow ALL opinions and feelings, where it is imperative for me to assert myself and that is not always "sweet." I choose when and where to verbalize such. I will not be stifled though. Being true to ourselves involves ALL parts of ourselves.
Posted by GeL (Emerald Eyes) | February 7, 2008 3:31 AM
Posted on February 7, 2008 03:31