Sparkling Girls, northeast of Brazil, 2007.
Thank you so much for your warm welcome back! You are all such sweethearts!
The weird thing is that after I posted, some strange emotions started to arise such as: "I'm so damn rude to show off happiness. To go away and then return proclaiming so much joy? That is not fair and people will hate you for that. Don't you know people have a life? Children and husbands to care for... A lousy boss to report to... A bank account and bills to keep up with... An infinite number of errands to run? You are so selfish. How can you recommend them to drop everything and run to a deserted island? Like that was even a solution for the world's problems..."
Oh boy. That is to say the least. My inner demons are not easy on me. But I went on with my business at home pretending to forget. Kissing my honey and smiling, but truly just burning with those horrible thoughts inside, planning when exactly, I would go back and delete that outrageous entry... Hopefully soon enough, I thought, and before that one commenter would write: How dare you?
Then, I opened a book about miracles... Ahhh... And I found a revelation that maybe you can also relate to:
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
actually, who are you not to be?
your playing small does not serve the world.
there is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
we are all meant to shine, as children do.
we were born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
it's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
as we're liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson
I can't help but wonder now...
Does that ever happen to you?
Are you embarrassed to be happy or successful sometimes?
Are you timid when it comes to feeling pleasure?
Are you shy about your accomplishments?
Do you have a hard time accepting your joy?
Are we too comfortable feeling pain and frustration?
Are we pushing happiness away by thinking it should be a "quick fix" instead of a lifelong experience?
Do we interrupt happiness with our guilt feelings (creating then DRAMA!)?
If we give ourselves permission to feel joy and happiness, will we get more of it?
I'm sharing my joy with you! Take some! Bring me some!
Let's start a JOY MOVEMENT!
Joy loves company too! =D
Comments (10)
Joy does love company! I adore seeing someone else embrace their sparkling joy and think that joy can also breed a little joy. Let your sparkle shine!
xx
Posted by Frida | December 19, 2007 5:27 AM
Posted on December 19, 2007 05:27
i tried to post a comment about this the first time around and it didn't work.
anyway, i really love being able to share in your joy. knowing you are so happy and loving life makes me smile. thanks for sharing
xx
Posted by leonie (chocolate covered musings) | December 19, 2007 7:47 AM
Posted on December 19, 2007 07:47
Glad to see that you�ve returned happy and rejuvenated. The Marianne Williamson quote really speaks to me. And �yes� to all of your questions, especially having moments of guilt for my own happiness or success. Love the idea of a joy movement!
Posted by Chloe | December 19, 2007 12:07 PM
Posted on December 19, 2007 12:07
i wrote about this in october..i had a moment, a conversation with a dear friend while in portland about how i do this - i downplay all that is good in my life out of fear of hurting someone's feelings - as if my happiness would be a sting to them. how silly. i came out of that conversation with this new perspective : i will begin to OWN MY JOY. so that's that. i think this is a thing that comes up often for people. i just don't think we're talking about it.
you and me need to make that friend date we've been talking about!
xo
Posted by kelly rae | December 21, 2007 10:14 PM
Posted on December 21, 2007 22:14
WOW, did I need to read this :)
I will try and remember to give myself permission to feel joy and happiness.
Thanks, Alex!
Posted by Becca | December 22, 2007 4:50 AM
Posted on December 22, 2007 04:50
Shine on, girl! I enjoy hearing and seeing other people achieve their dreams, living the lives they've wanted and working towards new goals.
I have plenty of moments when I second guess what I've written in a post (will I sound pretentious, stupid, flaky...) and I admit that I've deleted entire posts at 2am on more than one night! Ah well...
Posted by susanna | December 22, 2007 10:38 AM
Posted on December 22, 2007 10:38
this is so amazing..today, I picked up an Authenticity book and randomly looked at a page, and i saw this quote...exactly what i needed to hear, i guess...then I see it here...
I will listen!
Posted by stacie | December 22, 2007 1:08 PM
Posted on December 22, 2007 13:08
Yes, joy loves company! And you deserve all the joy you find. xoxox
Posted by Paris Parfait | December 22, 2007 1:36 PM
Posted on December 22, 2007 13:36
just to say...I love the way you write! Talk! live! express yourself! I think we are sometimes scared to express...but when you (that is YOU) write something so powerful that it makes my skin tinkle...my heart beat faster...my mind dreaming of places yet to discover...if we can FEEL the joy in every word you are writing...it needs to be shared...your words make dreams come true...xx
Posted by Periwinkle | December 26, 2007 6:30 AM
Posted on December 26, 2007 06:30
EnJOYing reading about your joy. It's easier said than done that your blog is for you to express your thoughts and opinions and especially to share incredible times in your life like now with your husband-to-be.
I think we, especially women, are expected (dare I say trained?), to please and politely not talk of ourselves. Instead, we are the listeners, the supporters, the encouragers, and the motivators. It took me a couple of years of blogging before I truly opened up about myself in a serious way and even then and now, I'm 99% private.
It's a challenge to shift gears publically and write of our own innermost and personal experiences. Everytime I took that risk, readers were very supportive, which made the sharing all the richer.
I adore reading about the changes in your life. I read several posts and still like your outlook on life!
Posted by GeL (Emerald Eyes) | January 17, 2008 3:17 AM
Posted on January 17, 2008 03:17