Gemma’s colorful steps in San Francisco, Fall 2007.
I’m taking small gentle steps…
toward the Holidays reds and “blues”
toward true kindness and compassion for me and others
toward a more centered way of dealing with challenges
toward the possibility of making money doing something I love
toward figuring out what it is that I love to do
toward more self confidence
toward bringing more balance into my routine
toward a simpler and fuller life
toward accepting everything exactly as is
toward learning to let go… over and over again
toward the diligence to just start over
toward feeling less guilty for leaving
toward finally getting my green card and the freedom to choose my life’s work
toward truly embracing my life as an immigrant
toward claiming new dreams
toward learning how to ask for help
toward being comfortable with “not knowing”
toward the brave & free spirit I used to be
toward making my life matter
toward mapping this world of color and light inside me.
toward finding a way of expressing what is inexplicable, immaterial, vast, ethereal, profound…
toward defining and dissecting what fills me… with such longing.
toward living and loving, exquisitely aware.
****
Wishing you Holidays filled with LOADS of
Snuggles, Love, Light, Hope…
And Spicy Tender Ginger Cookies!
****
All of our dreams are already coming true!
****

Ground view, northeast of Brazil, 2007
People Who Live
by Erica Jong
People who live by the sea
understand eternity.
They copy the curves of the waves,
their hearts beat with the tides,
& the saltiness of their blood
corresponds with the sea.
They know that the house of flesh
is only a sandcastle
built on the shore,
that skin breaks
under the waves
like sand under the soles
of the first walker on the beach
when the tide recedes.
Each of us walks there once,
watching the bubbles
rise up through the sand
like ascending souls,
tracing the line of the foam,
drawing our index fingers
along the horizon
pointing home.

Sparkling Girls, northeast of Brazil, 2007.
Thank you so much for your warm welcome back! You are all such sweethearts!
The weird thing is that after I posted, some strange emotions started to arise such as: “I’m so damn rude to show off happiness. To go away and then return proclaiming so much joy? That is not fair and people will hate you for that. Don’t you know people have a life? Children and husbands to care for… A lousy boss to report to… A bank account and bills to keep up with… An infinite number of errands to run? You are so selfish. How can you recommend them to drop everything and run to a deserted island? Like that was even a solution for the world’s problems…”
Oh boy. That is to say the least. My inner demons are not easy on me. But I went on with my business at home pretending to forget. Kissing my honey and smiling, but truly just burning with those horrible thoughts inside, planning when exactly, I would go back and delete that outrageous entry… Hopefully soon enough, I thought, and before that one commenter would write: How dare you?
Then, I opened a book about miracles… Ahhh… And I found a revelation that maybe you can also relate to:
“our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
actually, who are you not to be?
your playing small does not serve the world.
there is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
we are all meant to shine, as children do.
we were born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
it’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
as we’re liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”
A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson
I can’t help but wonder now…
Does that ever happen to you?
Are you embarrassed to be happy or successful sometimes?
Are you timid when it comes to feeling pleasure?
Are you shy about your accomplishments?
Do you have a hard time accepting your joy?
Are we too comfortable feeling pain and frustration?
Are we pushing happiness away by thinking it should be a “quick fix” instead of a lifelong experience?
Do we interrupt happiness with our guilt feelings (creating then DRAMA!)?
If we give ourselves permission to feel joy and happiness, will we get more of it?
I’m sharing my joy with you! Take some! Bring me some!
Let’s start a JOY MOVEMENT!
Joy loves company too! =D