Archive for July, 2007

Richness as opposed to Overwhelm

richness.jpg
Richness, Berkeley, CA, Summer 2007
“When the bills are paid, the roof stops leaking, the phone’s not ringing, and you soak in the caught-up-ness of it all… (When is that anyway??) That’s when the dog runs away. Or the girlfriend gets pregnant. Or the tornado touches down. Life doesn’t give you breathing room, but if you stop grasping for control of the uncontrollable, you can learn to breathe through it all.” By Chris Colin
First of all, thank you all for you sweet wishes and words on my engagement! You’re the best community ever!!!
Then, the truth about my current journey…
Well, right now there is just so much going on in my life… I feel like I’ve been trying to swim and stay with it all… But no matter how hard I try to pretend that I am a fish, I keep having to come to terms with the fact that I actually need to stop and come up for air… Breath… Sleep… Make peace with this moment of change and action in my life.
You must be thinking… But you’re in a wonderful moment of your life! You just got engaged!!! And yes. You’re right. But still… I can’t help it. I’m talking about a huge sense of overwhelm due to 14 hour work days, seeing what the wrong type of work can do to the people around me, losing team members who I valued and trusted, saying goodbye to some friends that moved away, feeling my body age, recognizing my new dreams and wanting to pursue them NOW, not later, or when this film ends… Having the most wonderful guest, my sister, visiting me in San Fran for the month of July. Taking this chance to bond with my sis after so many years of distance… Celebrating my engagement with family and friends. Talking wedding stuff (which I never thought I ever would!)… Feeling a weird sense of “life is underway”… “But will get increasingly more adult like…” Will I be able to handle it?… Dealing with my ongoing work sponsored green card process (Can you believe that ~ after 12 years in the US ~ I still don’t have one?)… Plus the fact that I’ve been getting enormous amounts of junk comments on the blog!! For Gods’ sake!! Finally, just trying to keep it all together and send a good message to the world when I don’t even feel it… D’You know what I mean?
So… Anyway…
The other day, I actually took a lunch break to go snap some photos. (I just love doing that to relax my mind!) When I came back to the office, I downloaded the image above and I labeled it “Richness”. Since then, I’ve got that word stamped in my mind: Richness, Richness, Richness… Today, I realized what it means. Besides the fact that my “fiancee” is… Well… Richard… hehehe… I realized a connection between this word and this very moment in my life!

Richness/ Rich

plentiful; abundant
having (a particular thing) in large amounts
interesting because full of diversity or complexity
powerful, wealthy
(of the mixture in an internal combustion engine) containing a high proportion of fuel, energy

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Can I transform Overwhelm by calling and seeing it as Richness?
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And… If that doesn’t work… What definitely works for me: Singing out loud!!!
Singing the song below out loud, from the top of my lungs, alone in my car, on my drive back from work late at night! Yep. That is a sure thing! =)
Put Your Records On, Corinne Bailey Rae
Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don’t need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.
Maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.
Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don’t you think it’s strange?
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.
It was more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realize, that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Oh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow…
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