GYPSY GIRL'S GUIDE

Fluffy grass, San Francisco, Spring 2007.

I'm late on reporting... But as I mentioned in my last post, on April 21st I went to a meditation retreat organized by the Spirit Rock meditation center. This was a very special day filled with poetry, music, meditation and a special guest, the extraordinary Alice Walker. The day included periods of discussion, sitting and walking meditation, as well as a time of celebration through music and dance. I especially loved the walking meditation. It was quite the heavenly vision to see everyone walking in a meditative state across the green fields. In retrospect, I wish I had cut my meditation short to snap a couple of photos of the peaceful "walkers"... However, I was too busy exploring the delicious feeling of stepping slowly into the fluffy and moist grass... (Something I actually repeated this weekend, as you can see above.)

Meeting Alice was such a treat. She is a writer, poet, activist and a woman! What else do you need? She wrote several books, essays, poems and even children's books. She won the Pulitzer Prize and the American Book Award for her novel, The Color Purple, which was made into a film seen all over the world, now a Broadway musical also. Alice shared her experience as a social visionary and activist. You can tell by looking at her that she is one strong woman. She has participated in the Human and Civil Rights movement in the South, the Hands Off Cuba Movement, the Women’s Movement, The Native American and Indigenous Rights Movement, the Free South Africa Movement, the Environmental and Animal Rights Movement, and the Peace Movement. When asked how she keeps up with the hardship and sorrows of her activist life (which included being arrested at times), plus her writing and everything else... She said: "I just do what I do. This is my life." How inspiring!

I was also so moved by her compassion for other human beings and by how she does make "her part" of the work, you know what I mean? If we all were more like Alice Walker (and Frida and Maryam!), our world would certainly be more balanced. She also read some of her poems, which are amazing and insightful. I especially loved an unpublished poem named "I was born to hold a cat." In this fabulous poem she described how she loved to hold a cat as a child. How that made her happy and fulfilled. Then, the poem takes us through her life and all the things she accomplished, the fights she fought, the places she'd been to and the people she met... Up to the moment when a cat showed up in her kitchen and in her life again. She fed the cat a saucer of soy milk :) and held him promptly. Immediately then, she remembered and realized once again, what she was born to do. She figured she'd done so much over the years... But that she had forgotten that her life purpose was simply to hold a cat all along. She was born to hold a cat! Ahhh.... I loved this one! It reminded of a guru I met in India: Amma. Amma was born to hug and she does just that for a living. She is known as the "Hugging Mama"! :D (That is another story for an other post...) Anyhow... As a writer, Alice made me think that if we open up through our writing, art, etc, and allow our poetry to deepen our understanding of the truth and reality around us; we can find new meaning in our lives. I want that: To do what I'm supposed to do without wondering if it is possible. Just do it.

Finally, Alice talked about how to cope with suffering and stay open-hearted in the difficult times we currently live in. Her recommendation was that we should always carry a medicine bundle with us (like our ancestors used to...), wherever we go, for our strength. A medicine bundle is anything that makes you smile and reminds you of your true self and your values. I absolutely love that concept! As a gypsy girl, I know that no matter how small my luggage is, there are certain things I must take with me to make me feel at home (inside). Those irreplaceable little items bring me inner peace, joyfulness and love wherever I am: that old hoodie, that song, that tea bag, that photo... You can carry your bundle of joy wherever you go. Isn't that comforting?

So many yummy concepts to explore... And to meditate on...

What were you born to do? What is so delicious that you just can't live without experiencing it?

And what is in your bundle of joy?

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Now... Onto journaling about the Dalai Lama's public talk, so I can share it with you too!

AND

Inspired by her "Master Cleanse" journal, I decided to do a cleanse too. (And write about it.) Today was my first day on it! I'm not doing the lemonade diet (Master Cleanse) though, because it seemed a bit too advanced for this 1st time experiment with detox. So I'm doing something different which I'll share in detail (in case you're interested in trying). You'll see. I'll post on that tomorrow.

Ah! My goodness! So much to catch up on...

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Here is Alice Walker's latest book: We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For: Light in a Time of Darkness.

I have one free ticket for the Dalai Lama's public talk today at the Bill Graham auditorium in San Francisco at 2:30 pm. He will be speaking about "How to make Positive Change". I realize this is a very late notice... But you have 2 hours to say yes! :D

If you're interested, please reply to gypsygirlsguide@gmail.com. And if you don't hear from me immediately, it is because the ticket is no longer available.

All roses, Berkeley, Spring 2007.

Thank you for your sweet notes regarding Petit. It was very comforting to have this space to pay tribute and share his cuteness with you. Despite the sadness of losing such a special little friend, and the fact that my server was having problems last week, there were also several wonderful and spontaneous moments that I'd love to share here.

The same day I found out about Petit, I received a package in the mail with a stunning pair of pearl earrings from Nomadic Creations. Stacie's work is 100% Gypsy Girl style. It's tribal, worldly and magically blends gentleness with great power. I feel a huge connection to her and her art. So it was a VERY pleasant surprise, when Stacie told me she had made this gorgeous pair of pearl earrings especially for me! Even more so, because this gift was given to me with the intent of reminding me to hold onto my dreams, like the oyster holds onto the uncomfortable debris during the pearl making process (as I described in my post a couple of weeks ago). I'm sure you all know, there is nothing more rewarding than sharing something from the deepest corner of your heart and having someone respond to it in such an honest and beautiful way. Stacie's thoughtfulness, generosity and support reminded me of the qualities I want to bring into my art and my creative business. I never want to lose sight of that. If I make any art in this life, it will only be worthwhile, if it can also inspire, bring hope and happiness to those who experience it. Stacie absolutely does the trick with her amazing jewelry and her open heart. Thank you, Stacie! ~ I will treasure this gift with much love ~

Then, I discovered last minute that Mary Oliver (Yes! One of my favorite poets) was in San Francisco giving a talk at the City Arts Lectures program. I called to register immediately, but by the time I did, the event had already been sold out. Without thinking twice though, I knew what I had to do because I knew that I was going to see her no matter what. So I headed to the theater (45 minutes in advance) in hopes of finding someone selling an extra ticket. When I got there, I found a line of about 20 other hopeful fellas... I waited and waited... But the situation didn't look good until the final moment, when the sweetest lady showed up out of nowhere and offered me a ticket. Better, the ticket was for the best seat in the house. I sat on the first roll, right in front of Mary.

Gasp for air...Ah...

It was a truly magical night. I had never heard Mary Oliver in person before, but many times since I first discovered her poetry, I had imagined how it might feel to listen to her in person. And she is exactly how I envisioned it: simple, soft spoken and humorous. Truly incredible, guys! She described herself as a country girl... She was born in Cleveland, Ohio, and later moved to New York City, where she claims, "I was very careful never to take an interesting job." Good advice, no?

Seventy one years old (darling) Mary Oliver read for about 1 hour and then answered questions for another 30 minutes. She read a wide variety of poems, some new and some of my old favorites too, like "I found a dead fox", "Wild Geese" and "The Summer Day". I was wishing for "The Journey" too, which she didn't read, but I was okay with that, since I got to hear a bunch of poems I had never heard of before... And on that note, I have not bought her latest book yet: Thirst. Have you? Based on what she read that night and what she indicated during the q&a session, this new book is quite different from her previous work. It seems to be a collection of poems tracing her experience of grief, the loss of her partner and her discovery of faith. She also read a couple of poems about her beloved dog "Pursie", which brought tears to my eyes.

Lastly, she was asked how to develop the same intuition and observation of nature that fuels her poetry with emotion and life. Her answer was simply: "Pay attention". She said that if you stare at something long enough, you'll sure learn how interesting that thing is and you will develop a thorough appreciation for it. She also reminded the audience that you don't need to go out in the fields to learn about nature. Hopefully, wherever you are, there will be a sky, a moon, a breeze and a patch of grass... You just need to remember to look at it now and then. Hmmm... I was completely inspired by her honest beauty, her clear answers and her grace (she left the stage blowing kisses to the audience... How sweet is that?). I can't wait for the next opportunity to see and listen to Mary Oliver again. For now... I'm buying Thirst asap and drinking it all in.

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By the way, I've missed you guys! It feels like ages since I poured my heart out here in the blog world. Sorry about the server let down last week... Hopefully it won't happen again anytime soon. In the next couple of days I shall post again and tell you about my experience at the Spirit Rock mediation retreat over the weekend and a talk with Alice Walkers (author of The Color Purple).

Hugs,

Petit, Mon Ami, 2007.

Yesterday, my family had to say goodbye to our Petit.

The picture above was taken earlier this year and even though he still looked very much like a puppy, our sweet Petit passed away after 13 and a half well lived years.

Petit left all of us with an immense gratitude for his loyalty and friendship over the years. He originally came into our lives as a gift from me to my little sister when she turned 15 years old. I consider him the best purchase I ever made. One that brought us much joy!

Petit was indeed the best of friends. Above all (and despite his petit size!!), he was extremely loyal and protective of us. He even challenged a pit-bull in order to defend us once!! Silly thing to do... But nonetheless... He was a bold little sweetheart! He was also the best listener around, he was the first one to notice if someone was ever upset, and he'd always know how to approach that person to offer some loving tenderness. And of course, he was always ready to go for a walk to help one cool off too...

Our petit friend was throughly loved and well kept. He got his fancy shampoo once a week, he owned many fun colorful toys, two very cozy blankets and a huge hand-weaved basket where he kept all his treasures! He slowly but surely conquered his place in our hearts and also in our beds!!! (including permission to lay his fluffy head on the pillow next to us!). As any "petit Brazilian", he loved the beach house and especially its porch ~ announcing visitors promptly was (no doubt) his specialty! He was a very social little one, who enjoyed when everyone was home and especially, when friends came over... Those days, he ran all over the house, back and forth, side to side, creating a festive and welcoming atmosphere! He maintained his fit form by staying active and by keeping a fairly healthy "dog food" diet... But he never (EVER!) refused a piece of "pao de queijo" (delicious Brazilian cheese bread)!

I'm going to miss him. All those who knew him will. I just wish I had a chance to pat him one more time this coming October, when I'm back home... At least one more stroke in his extremely soft and white mane... Go for a stroll on the beach together... Spend an afternoon laying on the hammock and watching the day go by and the birds sing...

But... "c'est la vie"... My heart is just a little crushed today...

You will be dearly missed, Petit.

* ps: I promise you that the bow-tie was not an everyday thing... But isn't it awfully cute and perfect for this post?

Fire Robot, Burning Man,2006
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As a proper gypsy, I'm a big fan of FIRE! Especially beach bonfires!

Who doesn't love to sit by the fire on a starred night to sing and tell stories? There is just something about sitting by the fire and sharing special moments...

So, I was indeed a bit upset when the San Francisco tradition of having open air fires was compromised as the National Park Service announced that they were banning beach fires. Truth be told, the Golden Gate National Recreation Area reported spending "$90,000 a year picking up charred wood, broken glass and other trash, including 100 pounds of nails left behind after wooden pallets were burned." And unfortunately, I believe it, because I have seen and picked up a lot of trash and nails on my walks on the beach here... It was actually becoming unbearable, unhealthy and in some ways dangerous to have beach fires at Ocean Beach.

However, the beach community didn't approve of the new measure and sent thousands of letters and e-mails contesting the decision. Thankfully, the Ocean Beach Foundation picked up the battle and joined forces with The Surfrider Foundation (a nonprofit group dedicated to protecting the world's oceans and beaches) and Burners Without Borders (a non profit group formed by Burning Man participants). Together, they suggested raising money so that local artists could design fire pits to create an "open-air museum of public art"... And that way, have bonfires re-instituted, of course! Surfrider agreed to keep the pits all nice and clean throughout the year. Brilliant, no? With that kind of offer, who can refuse? Since then, $28,000 have been raised in donations and 30 artists submitted proposals, from which 12 finalists were selected and green lit to build! They still need more donations, though (clue here!!)!

Thanks to them, fires will now return!!! Per the article I read on SF chronicle, the fire pit/ art pieces (some of which are done now) are made of steel, concrete, glass and other materials to ensure their longevity as well as their beauty! "The designs resemble seashells, starfish and flowers. Some glow from fires within, creating a kaleidoscope of color, and others, look like saucers with fires burning brightly above them."

For you, SF locals, take note: The pits will be installed at Ocean Beach, between Fulton Street and Lincoln Way on April 14 (this coming weekend). Yay! I can't wait to see them! If you are in the area, navigate through my links to find out more about the full scoop on the event. I'm very excited not only for the bonfires: It is a real treat to be surrounded by such a proactive, inspiring and creative community in San Francisco.

What kind of "fires" can you light up in your community to bring more art and beauty into the world??

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A few more bits:

BE A GREEN BURNER::: RESPECT THE ENVIRONMENT!

Learn how to be a green burner "eco-workshops, presentations,and demonstrations on the solar powered stage plus green vehicles, eco-carnival, solar ovens, biodiesel distillation, grey water works, green art, and the Solar Death Ray 2000".

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BURNERS WITHOUT BORDERS

I recently volunteered on a movie project for "Burners Without Boarders", regarding their efforts on the wreckage of Hurricane Katrina. They're a group of Burning Man participants coming together as "an international network of volunteers dedicated to building community through social good works that reflect inclusion, self- reliance, civic responsibility, gifting, and above all, the belief that doing good can be fun, and done with style."

Visit them, participate and make a donation! These guys are doing cool stuff :)

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SURFRIDER FOUNDATION

"The Surfrider Foundation is a non-profit environmental organization dedicated to the protection and enjoyment of the world's oceans, waves and beaches for all people, through conservation, activism, research and education."

Visit them, participate and make a donation! These guys are doing cool stuff too! :)

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FLAMING LOTUS GIRLS

They are a San Francisco-based group of of female and male artists collaborating all year round to create exceptional fire art and provide a resource for learning metalworking and other essential shop skills.

Fabulous "Flaming Lotus Girls" are part of the group of designers creating the fire pits mentioned above. Check these extraordinary group's blog to learn more about them and their cool art!

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photo downloaded from BWB site ~ I borrowed the image, guys!~ Hope it's okay ~ I give you full credit since I only had the best intentions of promoting your good work :) ~ I believe this firepit design is by Mathew De Gumbia and Brian Malley.

"Dragon" Flower, San Francisco, 2004.

"We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us. We are set down in life as in the element to which we best correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of years of accommodation become so like this life, that when we hold still we are, through a happy mimicry, scarcely to be distinguished from all that surrounds us.We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abysses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." Rainer Maria Rilke

The quote above has so much truth in it. I can extract so much from each line... I relate to it in so many levels.

I'm on a mission to find once again my creative path, as you know. The deepest and darkest truth though, is that I've always wanted to be an artist but somehow, every time I planned to go on that journey, the dragons appeared, scared me and made me change course. Whether it was the fear dragon, the money dragon, the visa dragon or the tension dragon, somehow I never believed in myself quiet enough to face neither of them with bravery. Instead, I went on to support other artists and made a career as a producer... Just so I could be close enough to other artists, in case I was ready to unfold and shine artistically at some point... Just so I could be close enough to lean over and sniff the flowers on someone else's desk...

When I finally took on the challenge to dig deep into this pattern of mine, my coach at the time, asked me the following question: Why don't you trust that you can do this, if you say this is your true nature? Aren't you successful at your current work even though it is not YOU? So why would something that actually is your true nature be HARDER to pursue? Shouldn't it be EASIER? OR... Are you afraid of failing and finding out (perhaps) that you're not who you've been saying that you really are?

And that, my friends, was a "bingo" moment. Of course I've been hiding under that shadow! What if I do what (I think) I'm meant to do, and it turns out to be bad, unsuccessful and mocked? What would I do with that good ol' dream inside? Could I even go on with life as is, without nursing that baby dream anymore?

Inevitably, all these questions are re-emerging from the darkness as I progress with my dream projects now. It's as if there was a pulsing energetic field commanding my thoughts and feelings. One day I'm high on colors and the next, I'm low with doubts: "What if I fail? I don't have time for this. Do I really want to give up the pay check?"

The reality is that my new projects are sweeping all corners of the house, pulling the clutter out and making room for the new life I'm seeking and which includes them... But at the end of the day, I'm still keeping the day job and dedicating very limited time and space to what really nourishes and needs me. In other words, the windows of the house are still closed and I'm suffocating on the dust emerging... I'm wondering: "Can I hold my breath a little longer?"

Artist Jeanne Carbonetti discusses the process of "holding" in her amazing book: Making Pearls ~ living the creative life". She writes that holding is a beautiful and important pre-requisite on the creation process, and if we can hang on long enough, the path will become clear. But we must be willing to also hold to our dream when the path is not clear. She compares the artist creation to pearl making (and I think her metaphor is genius)! She says that the oyster holds on to the irritation (sand or other foreign matter) logged inside it's shell, in order for that to become a pearl. In that process, the oyster should/ could open up and let out what is bothering inside. But it knows to stay closed enough to continue digesting and filtering its food as a matter of survival. The oyster nourishment hinges on hanging in there and continuing with the chores for a little longer (until the pearl is ready!). Likewise, as artists we must hold on to our vision to see it through. Some artists hold on to their craft and "make of their life their livelihood, while others, equally gifted, never develop a body of work".

"Holding is a conscious decision to stay with it all. It requires faith, equanimity, concentration, and imagination in the face of such dragons as boredom, uncertainty and tension."

I started an illo about my relationship to my dragons. I wanted to post it here with these words, but alas, it was just stopping me from getting on with the writing... I will share it with you when it's done.

In the meantime... Hold on to those wild dreams of yours... I'm holding onto mine over here too. :)