Lonely goat, Kochi, 2004
One of the only negative things about leading a gypsy life is the fact that you can't avoid leaving loved ones behind.
During the holiday season, I usually feel a bit sad. I question my reasons for choosing adventures away from home. I try to convince myself that I wouldn't feel complete even if I had all the special people in the world around me. I persuade myself to believe that feeling whole is a state of mind. I am a Capricorn, after all. The surefooted, hardy goat. I find my security in the cliffs and heights of the far distances.
The truth however, is that I don't like being a loner at heart. I like sharing and celebrating moments together. I feel guilty and I wish I could always be there for those who love me unconditionally and nonstop.
So, today I dedicate this entry to all the dear ones that are physically far, but who I bring in my heart wherever I go.
I bring with me all the exquisite
tight hugs we've ever shared.
All the heart to heart conversations
till the wee hours of the night.
Campfires, open sky and stars...
I bring those secrets told
with a smile of embarrassment
and the ones revealed in laughter.
Our walks on the beach with
the breeze gently ruffling our hair,
the humidity on our skin
and the silver highlights on the waves,
while we splashed around freely and unbent.
I bring our dreams and our confessions
whispered on the porch
and the samba playing next door.
Skipping class to lay out in the sun,
jumping rope, playing cards, bowling...
The rhythm of our dance is in my heartbeat.
I bring along our rides together
and when we sang to the radio
at the top of our lungs.
The late night drives down the coast
and strawberry shakes in the morning after.
I bring that dinner we managed to schedule
just barely, in between fligths.
I bring your cards, letters, emails, messages,
the many long distance calls we exchanged
and especially, the love you never ceased to send my way
in all these years...
I also bring the happiness in your voice
every time you heard from me
and the tears rolling down our cheeks
at every good bye...
Not knowing for sure
when we'd see each other again.
I thank you for being right here for me
in the memories I bring no matter what.
I believe that you and I don't simply exist in the world
but the world and you exist within me...
Even when I feel like a lonely goat.
****
And BIG thanks to all the Poetry Thursday gals, who are inspiring me and pushing me to open up and dare my way with a poem! This is a first. And it feels gooooood.
Comments (15)
alex~
i so so love this. i have been feeling sorry for myself for being away from family this time of year. feeling guilty.
your poem touched me today.
thanks for sharing!
jenn
Posted by jenn | December 20, 2006 6:09 AM
Posted on December 20, 2006 06:09
in the memories I bring no matter what.
I believe that you and I don't simply exist in the world
but the world and you exist within me...
Your photography and poetry (in prose or actual poem) take my breath away...
However did you find that goat! How lovely Capricorn--when is your birthday?
Posted by Novel Nymph | December 20, 2006 10:30 AM
Posted on December 20, 2006 10:30
WOW girl! That is amazing! I have a girlfriend who is dear to my heart who is an intrepid traveller and not only did this poem draw me into your journey but it reminded me of hers.
I do hope you keep writing. I'll be back for more...
Leonie (from the poetry thursday tribe)
Posted by leonie | December 20, 2006 8:58 PM
Posted on December 20, 2006 20:58
It feels good and it is good. No great. What beautiful images. It's as if I were living your memories. I wish I were a gypsy girl like you but my feet are bound to the floor and too many years have left me.
Have a merry one and don't be lonely.Being in a crowad is just a lonely.
Great poem!
-bd
Posted by Beloved dreamer | December 21, 2006 7:07 AM
Posted on December 21, 2006 07:07
beautiful!!
xo
Posted by stef | December 21, 2006 7:56 AM
Posted on December 21, 2006 07:56
Thanks for the comment and when next your eyes behold some new wonder in your journies, think of me my friend. Live, love and enjoy.
-bd
Posted by Beloved dreamer | December 21, 2006 2:47 PM
Posted on December 21, 2006 14:47
The lines about the world is exquisite. I've been a European gypsy, and what you say is so right. Keep writing; keep sharing. You're good. BB
Posted by blackbank | December 21, 2006 2:50 PM
Posted on December 21, 2006 14:50
This is a really nice poem and photo. Closing with the analogy of the lonely goat gives this poem a nice little shock at the end and very nicely distills all of those feelings and experiences you describe. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Posted by Jon | December 22, 2006 6:51 AM
Posted on December 22, 2006 06:51
What a wonderful way to pay tribute to all those good memories of family and friends!
Posted by Dani | December 22, 2006 10:21 AM
Posted on December 22, 2006 10:21
This is a great poem, full of nostalgia and warm feelings of past times. I really enjoyed reading it.
Posted by Natalie | December 22, 2006 10:57 AM
Posted on December 22, 2006 10:57
Can I just say that you are an amazing photographer?! This photo is just so beautiful. I think I could look at it every single day.
Posted by Maryam in Marrakech | December 22, 2006 3:19 PM
Posted on December 22, 2006 15:19
Simply beautiful!
I'm glad you were inspired to write because you do so wonderfully.
Making this personal by using your zodiac sign and that terrrific photo to layout your feelings, adds all the more to your poem.
Posted by gel | December 23, 2006 12:03 AM
Posted on December 23, 2006 00:03
Hi,
I found your blog via google by accident and have to admit that you have a really interesting blog :-)
Just saved your feed in my reader, have a nice day :)
Posted by Florian | January 28, 2007 7:28 PM
Posted on January 28, 2007 19:28
Hello everybody, my name is Damion, and I'm glad to join your conmunity,
and wish to assit as far as possible.
Posted by DamionKutaeff | March 22, 2008 12:49 PM
Posted on March 22, 2008 12:49
Hello everybody, my name is Daniel, and I'm glad to join your conmunity,
Wish to assist as far as possible.
Posted by Dan(lazy)Honnet | March 25, 2008 5:42 AM
Posted on March 25, 2008 05:42